Life just isn’t fare

Are you going my way?

Nothing else is.

I’ll just ride to the end of the line if that’s ok.

Why not? Why not just ride wherever this line takes me? Why not just cast off everything else?

I’ll be “aboard the Freedom Bus, heading for Good Time City. And I haven’t even paid my fare.”

I am Cone Alone.

Cone getting on bus

Choose Your Cone Adventure: Royal Baby Reveal!

Last week, we asked you to help us figure out just what this Cone Alone was thinking waiting outside for the birth of the “Royal Baby.”

What was Cone Alone thinking?

What was Cone Alone thinking?

After much heated debate on the Internet, we are ready to reveal what Cone Alone was thinking.

We haven't the foggiest!

We haven’t the foggiest!

No one knows. Clearly, Cone Alone can easily stump the best of us. We know Cone Alone is good about hiding true emotions, which is why we do our best to let them speak for themselves, when they are ready.

We are still sometimes guarded.

We are Cone Alone.

Choose Your Cone Adventure: Royal Baby Edition

What is this Cone Alone thinking?

Tell us what Cone Alone is thinking.

Tell us what Cone Alone is thinking.

You tell us.

One intrepid viewer caught this Cone Alone outside during the birth of the “Royal Baby.”

We know it was there, but we have no idea what is going through its mind.

Send in your suggestions to or post to the Facebook page or via Twitter.

We’ll pick the winner and post in next week’s Cone Alone Wednesday.

Good luck!

-J and the Cone Alone team

Basin my decision in facts

Well this seems familiar.

Salt Flats sign

Let’s see. Do I want to try it?

Salt Flats 1

I’d hate to make a Hastings decision.

Salt Flats 2

I’m sure I could make it across with no problem. Right?

Salt Flats 3


Salt Flats 4

Ah, forget it.

I don’t want to become a Cone-ibal.

I’m not even an organ Donner.

I am Cone Alone.

Snowed In

I get blamed for everything, but people seem to miss the truth.

The truth?

The truth is,most of the time I don’t even deal with the cones in other branches.

Sure, we have the occasional softball tournament and we make prank calls while wiretapping each other. But it is usually just harmless fun.

My faucet leaks, but I certainly don’t.

I am discreet.

I am Cone Alone.


NSA I’m crazy. FBI don’t think so.

Train in Vain: TYWCA guest post

“A year without Cone Alone: like waiting for the train you know is coming, but for some reason keeps being delayed by another 10 minutes. The world moves around you, going about its business, but you continue to wait. You continue to wait because you know what’s coming is worth it.”

Photo courtesy of Kira J.

Photo courtesy of Kira J.

“We’ve waited roughly 525,600* minutes for the return of Cone Alone. Was it worth the wait? Most definitely! But maybe next time, don’t make us wait so long…”

Photo courtesy of Kira J.

Photo courtesy of Kira J.

*Rent suggests this is how you measure a year. If this is not how you measure a year in the life of a Cone, how do you measure a year? Perhaps you measure it in daylights, in sunsets, in midnights in cups of coffee? In inches, in miles, in laughter and strife?

Cone home.

Potholes. Speed bumps. Caution ripples. (You know, the ones motorcycles use.) All are obstacles on your trip from A to C. To us, however, they are all in a day’s work. Cone Alone has been doing our best to keep you safe on this journey of life. You’ve seen us all year, but you haven’t heard from us.

It was a time without orange friends. It was a time without introspection. It was a time without puns.

It was The Year Without Cone Alone.

Well, we’re back!

Orange* you glad we returned? Did you miss us? If you did, we’d love to hear from you.

Take a minute and send us a photograph of a Cone Alone that represents how you felt during The Year Without Cone Alone (TYWCA**). You can submit your photos in three ways:

You don’t have to include a caption, but please be sure to include your name and city of residence (for you or the Cone Alone).

We’ll post your photos over the next couple of weeks in preparation for what we’re calling The Return of Cone Alone (no abbreviation necessary)!

That’s right, we are set to return with all new Cone Alone posts (including ones submitted from our friends, a.k.a. Cone Aloners) every Wednesday starting June 26. Send in your photos and mark your calendars.

And don’t think we forgot about last summer’s holiday photo Conetest. And the winner is…

Jane M. of Utah with the picture of a Cone Alone collapsed in on itself. (Did it recoil at something?)

The winning photo from Jane M!

The winning photo from Jane M!

Congratulations Jane! For submitting the winning Cone Alone photo, you will receive a Cone Alone t-shirt (just like the one sported by Cone Aloner @yarnsmithee)! Just email with your t-shirt size and we’ll start production right away.

Before we get back into it, we wish to take a minute and thank everyone who begged and pleaded for our return. It means so much that you all care about our stories or, at the very least, like looking at conical emotional wrecks.

And don’t worry: we’re just as lonely as we were one year ago.

With a pessimistic outlook toward the future, we are Cone Alone!

*We recognize not all Cone Alone are orange. We hear you. We just can’t say yellow to everyone. Can’t we just agreen to disagree?

**Not to be confused with The Young Women’s Christian Association nor The Yiddish Welcoming Committee of Amherst.

Summer Holiday Photo Contest

Were you sad when you learned that Cone Alone will be on holiday this summer?

Were you so dejected that you could barely type 140 characters to tweet about your melancholy?

Well lift up your head, pick up your camera and let your spirits soar again.

That’s right, it is time for the Cone Alone Summer Holiday Photo Contest!

Check out the easy ways to participate.

1A. From May 5 until July 30, 2012 just take pictures of yourself (and friends) with Cone Alone. (Like in the picture below).

I am Cone Alone. (photo credit: Adam Jones)

1B. Feeling a bit camera shy and don’t want to be in the picture? That’s fine. Just take a picture of a Cone Alone you spot. Write a caption if you can as well!

2. Then upload those pictures to our Facebook page and/or Twitter account or just email the pictures directly to us (josephpatrickrichards (at) gmail (dot) com) and we’ll take care of the uploading. Be sure to use the #ConeAloneSHP if you can.

3. Finally, share Cone Alone with all of your friends, family, enemies and emotionally-neutral automatons.

We will be featuring one picture every week to get some “extra props” from us.

At the end of the contest, we will select five of our favorite (or “favourite” in Europe) photos and then have YOU, the fans, vote on the winner. The grand champion will receive a special Cone Alone prize we will announce later.

So that’s it. So simple, so fun and you get your summer Cone Alone fix.

Have any questions about the contest? Just email josephpatrickrichards (at) gmail (dot) com.